Thursday, August 16, 2012

For the beterment of all human kind...

It's 101° here today in Portland, and a scorcher across the Pacific Northwest, as well as most of the nation.  Thousands of people everywhere are trying to stay cool by any means possible, quite often by enjoying a tasty iced beverage.  If you're like me, and so many others, that chilly beverage involves coffee.
I -heart- iced coffee.  Many of us do.  $tarbuck$ has gotten plenty of my dough for this coffee-and-cold flavored treat, so much so that they should be listed as corporate sponsors of at least 10lbs of my old fat, and it's no wonder why: a full-boat-full-o-milky-coffee-goodness can run upwards of 250cal, and that's for a 16oz.  Even their "skinny" is 100cal (-whip), and as any hot person can tell you, 16oz doesn't go very far taking account ice-cube displacement, and the rush to enjoy it at its best, before the melting ice dilutes it down to a nasty, watery cup full o' weak-sauce.  You're really tempted to do more than one, or a much larger size ($tarbuck$ is trying to help combat this problem with a new size and delivery vehicle--the Trenta--specifically designed for the iced coffee drinker.  How fortuitous!)

Anyway, As my regular readers will attest, I am a culinary DIY kinda guy, and for a number of reasons (food cost, quality control, as well as calorie control).  I am also a bit of a coffee snob.  When I started actively trying to drop pounds, the thing I first really tried to "save" in my daily routine was my morning espresso mocha.  Not having that to start my day was not something I wanted to deal with while trying to fend off the feelings of being deprived of yummayness.  I came up with a great low-carb, low-cal mocha that people still squee over.  But iced mocha type drinks are a bit more tricky.  The milky factor makes lower calorie versions seem realky weak-sauce.  And weak-sauce is NOT what you want in an iced coffee beverage on a hellishly hot day.

So, here--my dear dietary die-hards--is my gift to you.

Da Fatman's Lo-Cal Iced Mocha

What you'll need:
  • 12oz strong cold-brewed coffee
  • 1 half-gallon Blue-Diamond Unsweetened almond milk
  • 1 can Black & White brand evaporated milk
  • 1 cup Splenda sweetener
  • 1 2.1oz box Jell-O brand sugar-free chocolate pudding mix
  • 8 tbsp Medaglia D'Oro instant espresso
  • 1 ice cube tray
  • 1 Blender (I use a stck-style immersion blender)

What to do:

  1. The morning before, soak the ground coffee in filtered water.  Now just let it sit all day, for at least 8 hours.  This is a cold water extraction, and makes a very strong yet non-bitter coffee.  That evening, pour the coffee into the ice cube tray, and place in your freezer.  You see where I'm going with this, I'm sure.
  2. The next day, take a gallon pitcher and add the evaporated milk, the sweetener, pudding mix, espresso powder and half the almond milk.  Blend this very throughly, ensuring there's no unblended, caked up stuff.  Then add in the rest of the almond milk and finish bending.  refridgerate.
  3. To enjoy, take a half-dozen coffee ice cubes and put them in a glass placed in your freezer for 30min.  fill the glass with about half filtered water and half mocha concentrate.  Kick back and enjoy.  I mean it: really enjoy, because this decadent treat has only HALF the calories of even a "skinny" bigbox variety, and it's coffee-riffic all the way down with the coffee-flavored ice cubes.  There's zero dilution!

Wednesday, August 8, 2012

Achievment feels weird...

Hiya folks! Well, it's been a while, but the news I bring is pretty significant.  Way back in my September, 2010 post ("Frying in the face of danger") I discussed my "goal weight", and the abstract, amorphous and frankly dubious help certain (read: "most") on-line BMI and weight calculators are at establishing a healthy weight goal.  I went on to say that the Medically Recommended Ideal Weight for a person my height is 167lbs.  I also said that I couldn't conceive of myself at that weight from where I then was (258).  I also said that the 167lb number was likely unrealistic.  Well...

More (or less, I suppose) to come...