266-ish (again)...

Been a while. The new relationship is settling down now into a bit of a decent routein, which is good. I put on some weight while making comfort foods while staying with AK at her business partners' place for 10-or-so days, but it came back off pretty quickly.

I'm still being pretty responsible with my eating, which makes me feel good. I just don't feel driven to mollify emotional states with food anymore. AK noted last night (with some mild displeasure) that I had no sweets or baked treats in the flat. "No, I don't. I find it hard to be responsible about them, so tend to not have them at hand," I said. I believe that's in my best interest, at least for now. I don't want to put on weight. It's that simple. Snacks & sweets are a killer to me, so I do what it takes to keep them at bay, and I do that by... keeping them at bay.

I do need to start walking/exercising again, but don't feel too bad about taking some time away from it. It will be there for me when I start ramping back up.

Back to 270-something...

Well, I've allowed myself the luxury of putting a few back on eating a bit of comfort food with my girl. You know, those recipes that help people learn who you are when times get bad, and what it takes to sooth your soul. But even though, I still feel more in control of the eating. I will be getting back on the wagon/horse soon. We're house-sitting for her business partner, and she was ill the last two days, so there was much sitting about. I haven't been walking in weeks (shame on me) but we're still in that spend-most-of-our-time-together mode. We have recently mentioned this to each-other, and are planning some time apart to stabilize the dynamic. It will get evened out, as will I. But as for right now, it feels good to let go and celebrate a bit.

265-ish

Which is fine, actually. I'm relaxing a bit with the weight-loss, mostly because I need the food for energy. I'm running ragged these past weeks, which is 90% for the good. Splurged and purchased my vitamins again because I know that their absence was contributing to this feeling of running on fumes. Happy, excited fumes, but fumes none-the-less. I haven't been walking like I was, and I plan to get back on that soon, but right now, I think I may be getting as much exercise as I used to simply by keeping up with the manic pace of my life. I still think 250 by August is completely reasonable and do-able.

The change in life may bring something I'd written off: Fatherhood. The thought makes me both excited and fearful, but I know I still want it. I always have. But what it means is that I MUST get this weight off. If I think I'm tired now, imagine what being a 50-year old father of a 9-year old child will be like, dude?

And suddenly, 263-ish!

So much has happened in the past two weeks! I've just been running non-stop. This isn't the "life" blog, so I'll skip the details, but the details are part-and-parcel of the weight-loss. I haven't even been doing my daily walk, and STILL dropped weight. Regardless, it's all good.

But the majority of it is the eating. I'm back in control. I must eat 40% or less of what I used to. Even at that, I bet I'm still getting 1800kcal a day, so that says two things: 1) I can live on a reasonable amount, and b) what I was eating was way beyond reasonable. It feels so damn good to not feel like I'm a victim of my self and my inability to exert control in this area. It just feels good. I can dance again. I can walk again with much less effort. I look better. Women are flirting with me! A few women are even jealous OVER ME. I mean seriously, this has never happened to me in my life.

It's wonderful...

268-270...

Holding at a good place. Not much time to write. The new GF was here from Fri evening through Monday afternoon, then I spent the night there last night. Sorta running ragged, but the good news is, I still don't feel the desire to over-eat. That's so freeing.

More later...

Weightloss gives me...

...insomnia.

272.0. Still holding the line. Cool. I did expect to put back on the dance loss from the crazy weekend. That was mostly sweat. So to see 272 after two days of eating "normally" is encouraging. I know now more than ever that the weight-loss is real, and I have real traction now. All I had to eat yesterday were two cold-cut wraps, some hemp-seed chips, about a half a cup of humus and 3/4 of a bottle of Corona. Probably 1200 cal. Hunger isn't really bothering me all that much. I'm in that place now where I can just ignore it.

But this insomnia thing; oi. It's partly due to the weight-loss; the different energy level and the change in metabolism. But it's also due to a girl. I can't stop thinking about her, and no matter how damn tired I am, if I wake, I get that NRE head-spin, and boing! Awake and alert.

I think I'm going to do my walk here in the early dawn. Get it done before it gets hot again.

Dance, fat-boy, dance!

270.8 this morning, but it was after an absolutely k-razy weekend that saw me and a SO at two major dance events, The Crystal Method @ The Roseland, and the Beloved Presents fundraiser, week two, featuring Jujuba, Medicine Drum and Ganga Giri. By 2am, I was wasted tired, and some dude stomped my foot, twisting my ankle, but up until then I was a pretty hard-core dancing fool. Back to the weight: it's already ticked back up to about 272 after rehydration and meals today, but I so don't care. Had a great weekend with my sweetie, and life feels good. I feel so much more in control now.

Two more shows this month at a minimum: Peter Murphy on Wed, and then another rump-shaker: SHPONGLE the week after. There is no question to me that dancing is my favorite form of sweat exercise. Well, second favorite, but whatever...