Sunday, May 17, 2009

Actually did something today...

Mowed my GF's lawn. It was about 82f and very sunny, so I got in a good sweat. Then again, I can break a sweat by thinking about work at this point in my life. Check that: at any point in my life. It's one of my greatest embarrassments. Granted, since I suffered a neck fracture at 15, it's been worse, but honestly, it's always been 90% from the weight. I damn-well know that.

I remember as a pudgy kid, I was generally a rather active boy. Biked everywhere I went, walked, ran, played Little League baseball. Admittedly, I was still a bit of a quitter; dropped out of Freshman football, (hated running long distances). But that fall, I played inter-mural softball. But the accident stopped everything cold. Immobile for months. Every muscle I built just turned to jello.

But I know that I've kept myself there, or here, I suppose. I need activity. I need to go someplace where I can just sweat. Sweat and not care about it. Sweat it off. Sweat and let it pour out of me like poison.

I'm thinking about joining a support group or three. I think I've realized that I need that help.

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